Alternate News

ALLAHU AKBAR: Democrats Now Want to Change a 181-Year-Old Rule Banning Religious Headwear in the House

By Geoffrey Grider As they prepare to welcome two newly-elected Muslim women into the 116th Congress, Democrats have proposed a clarification to a 181-year-old rule banning representatives from wearing hats on the House floor. Lewis Charles Levin was an American Jewish Congressman and the first Jew ever elected to the U.S. House of Representatives in 1844. He was [READ…

Black Lives Matter Hate Group Attempts To Disrupt ‘Nights Of Lights’ Holiday Festival In Saint Augustine, Florida And Fails Wonderfully

By Geoffrey Grider In a Deep South crowd of over 10,000 people, with more pickup trucks and people will concealed carry than you could shake a stick at, not one person reacted at all. For the past 25 years, Saint Augustine in Florida has held their annual ‘Nights Of Lights‘ tree lighting festival that [READ…

SNOWFLAKE ALERT: Progressive Liberal Run New York And New Jersey Plunged Into Mind-Numbing Chaos After Receiving Only 6 Inches Of Snow!

By Geoffrey Grider Drivers were trapped on gridlocked, snowy roads for hours. Middle schoolers in New Jersey had to spend the night at school. The upper level of the George Washington Bridge — one of the busiest bridges in the world — came to a standstill with drivers abandoning their cars. I was born [READ…

The Time That Pope Francis In St. Peter’s Square At The Vatican Declared To The Entire World That Lucifer Is The God Of The Catholic Church

By Geoffrey Grider The highlight of the ceremony was the singing of a Catholic prayer known as ‘The Exsultet’, or ‘Easter Proclamation’. The problem starts in the wording of the prayer itself. On April 27th, 2014, Pope Francis held a ceremony in St. Peter’s Square at the Vatican to induct two former popes into [READ…

Residents Of Southern Israel Go On Strike To Protest Premature Ceasefire With Hamas, Demand A Real Resolution To Incoming Rocket Attacks

By Geoffrey Grider This time, upon hearing the news of another fragile ceasefire with Hamas – the latest in a long series of such ceasefires – southern residents swiftly rallied to express their anger and frustration. They are no longer prepared to be frayerim, the Hebrew word for ‘suckers’. The residents of southern Israel, in [READ…

Judge Orders Trump Administration To Temporarily Reinstate Fake News CNN Reporter Jim Acosta’s White House Press Pass

By Geoffrey Grider A federal judge on Friday granted CNN’s request for a court order that would temporarily reinstate network correspondent Jim Acosta’s White House press pass, which had been suspended indefinitely in the wake of a fiery exchange between the reporter and President Donald Trump a week earlier. Fake news agitator Jim Acosta [READ…

FIRST BLOOD: On Freshman Orientation Day, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Stages Climate Change Coup D’état In Nancy Pelosi’s Office

By Geoffrey Grider Freshman Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez lets Nancy Pelosi know that the Socialist Democrats are out for blood as she stages Climate Change coup in Pelosi’s office At the Freshman Congressional orientation day in Washington, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez joined a protest of the Sunrise Movement at Nancy Pelosi’s office. Ocasio-Cortez wasted no time in [READ…

Witches Now Outnumber Presbyterians In The United States As Wicca And Paganism Experience Explosive Growth

By Geoffrey Grider The population of self-identified witches has risen dramatically in the United States in recent decades, as interest in astrology and witchcraft practices have become increasingly mainstreamed. All you need is an Instagram account in order to see how witchcraft has so throughly infiltrated American culture. Everywhere you look, people who don’t even [READ…